Lifestyle Newborn | St. Augustine Family Photographer

March 27, 2016

I have learned that I prefer to capture the emotion, the connection when I am photographing. Don't look at me and force a smile, look at what makes you genuinely smile and let me show you how beautiful your life really is.

The Flu | Project 365 {Days121} | St. Augustine Photographer

March 23, 2016

Tomorrow marks a full week since the Soto clan came down with the Flu. Well, everyone but me.

It was UGLY. It was seriously like an episode of the walking dead around here for the first 24-48 hours. But by and large - everyone just needed a lot of rest. All three kids and my husband hardly made it out of bed.

My oldest, who was the first to get sick, seems to be better today. The rest of the gang is fever free but still sleeping the day away and clearly not 100%.

It goes without saying that seeing your kids sick is horrible. You want so desperately for their pain to go away. Obviously. But this is the internet, so in an attempt to deter some trolls I must preface what I'm about to say with reassuring you that I do in fact love my children and don't wish the flu on (almost) anyone.

Now that we've gotten that out of the way - I will say my family having the flu and being out of commission for five days has selfishly been amazing for me. I'm not sure how I managed to remain healthy - but at least this far -I did. The first day or two I was consumed with a combination of fear "any minute now I'm destined to join this crap shoot with them" and cabin fever "I need to get out of this house!". But the days went on and miraculously I didn't get sick, or out of the house.

Prior to this nasty flu I was getting snappy. Overwhelmed by the demands of three small children and no family support locally. Escaping for yoga was nice, but I still came home to the chaos and the stress never really went away. Short breaks never feel like enough to me.

But five days straight for my brain to REALLY unwind? Amazing. I wasn't running around town trying to squeeze a million things in because I knew I only had so.little.time. before I had to get the kids back. I was forced to stay in the house and REALLY relax, and it was exactly what I needed.

Three tiny voices weren't constantly demanding three separate things from me. I played on my phone until I was bored and didn't have to feel bad about it. I showered when I wanted and by myself! I cleaned the house and it stayed that way. I didn't have to cook or stress over dishes for 5 people. I didn't have to feel guilty because the kids were asking 12304987 questions to someone else allowing me this break. I didn't have to share my food. I didn't have to break up sibling fights, or listen to them at all. I got to be lazy - good old fashioned sit on the couch and read a book all day long lazy. It was amazing. There was no nagging feeling of 'this is my last day before getting back on the grind- have to make the most of it!', there was no clear end in sight, which was likely the best part!

In a backwards way I'm thankful for the flu that allowed me to take a break that would have been impossible otherwise.

So here is to the kids and Milton continuing to recover and to us all having a healthy Easter. And to me not eating my words and catching the horrid crud that is the flu!

Oh- and in case you didn't notice - I officially missed my first day of 365! womp womp! I was too caught up in the Florida Primary election and got distracted. I did take some pictures with the good old iPhone so those will have to do!

Day 121 : March 14, 2016

Day 122: March 15, 2016 - THE MISSED DAY

Day 123 : March 16, 2016

Day 124: March 17, 2016

Day 125: March 18, 2016

Day 126: March 19, 2016

Day 127: March 20, 2016

Day 128: March 21, 2016

Day 129: March 22, 2016

Day 130: March 23, 2016

Deja Vu | Project 365 {Days 107-120} | St Augustine Photographer

March 13, 2016

I've finally reached that portion of 365 I knew was inevitable - the slump. Balancing three kids is hard as heck - add in a camera I can't afford to mess up (I broke a lens last week - wahhh) and the fun moments are going undocumented for more "oh crap! I need a picture! Here's my kid sleeping again!". But I'm pushing through and just waiting for inspiration to pick back up. The good news is I've been doing this long enough to know that inspiration comes and goes, it's just a matter of time. But while photographing 365 has felt like more of a chore lately, life has been unfolding fabulously.

ANYWAY

Asheville. Life. Synchronicity.

I have SO MUCH I want to say. My heart and my mind are on fire.

Last time we went to Asheville I remember at one point sitting at a restaurant and looking over at my daughter Summer- who looked absolutely beautiful. I also remember I couldn't capture the beauty with my lens no matter how hard I tried. She was looking out of the window, and I remember having this feeling literally take over my body of "this is your future". This moment pops into my head every time I think of Asheville.

Then que the pure fucking chaos I've written about in nearly every single 365 post, and Asheville was not even on my radar.

At the start of this year we moved back to Anastasia Island. At one point I had a dream of Asheville and instantly become run over by fear. I was horrified to go back.

A few years ago I learned I was conceived there. Since a part of me has always felt so drawn there I feared it was because life was going full circle and I was going to die there (oh hello anxiety, fancy seeing you here).

I don't believe in coincidences. And 2016 has been bursting at the seems with them. For the sake of time, I'll leave it that. Asheville won't stop popping up. Last week we were able to make a very last minute trip there (I'm talking under 48 hours of planning - which with 3 kids + 2 dogs is like 75 seconds in normal time). Oddly enough all fear washed away and I was SO. EXCITED.

We made it to town safely, and it was amazing.

I knew international women day was happening that week. I remember staying up in our cabin the night before searching for an event to attend while we were in town.

In contrast with what others were saying, for me there was nothing particularly 'energetic' about the (new moon + solar eclipse + international womens day) night, if anything it felt very 'sober' if you will. However from walking the streets on the way there, to the workers and shoppers at the co-op, to the actual event that night I kept seeing people and thinking/ getting that feeling of 'I know you / where do I know this person from?!'. The frequency of this phenomenon was beyond any range of 'normal'.

Someone we had never met approached Milton and asked how she knew him/ our family (I only caught the tail end).

Right before we were leaving one of the men running the event went to speak and I was swept over with some serious deja vu. In case I haven't mentioned before - I hate deja vu. But in this weird instance, while frightening, it felt OK.

In other news - FLORIDA PRESIDENTIAL PRIMARY IS TUESDAY!

Need to know where when or how to vote? GO HERE