Tomorrow.
I'll floss tomorrow.
I'll give up dairy tomorrow.
l'll start to exercise tomorrow.
I'll take my camera out and just shoot what inspires me tomorrow.
I'll start a positivity journal tomorrow.
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In my personal life this year has been especially trying. One road bump after another. Every time it seems as though there is a light at the end of the tunnel - closer inspection just reveals another head on collision. Damn these times are hard - but things will get better, tomorrow.
The news about Paris took my breath away. It was purely devastating. My heart hurt so deeply and my well versed friend anxiety started to rear its unwelcome head.
It has been so easy to get sucked up in the negative, and get stuck on the shitty luck we've had lately. But the reality is, despite the excessive crud, and despite the overwhelming amount of uncertainty in our current situation, we are tremendously blessed. Paris was yet another reminder of that which has been weighing on my heart lately.
It's as though life has been trying to teach me the importance of really living in the present, of being present. When I look back to all that has taken place this year, I harden. When I look ahead to the future I am paralyzed with uncertainties. But when I stop and breathe - I realize that in far more moments then not- everything is OK - I am OK - and I am still breathing.
When I heard of Paris I was flooded with a million emotions. But, given my context, I felt an overwhelming need to really be more thankful and positive TODAY - not tomorrow.
Some day, tomorrow won't come. And if that day is indeed tomorrow, I don't want to have wasted my today waiting for better times.
I have three beautiful happy healthy souls in my care every day. I don't want to waste another minute overlooking them, or overlooking life, for the sake of stress. I'm sure I will fall. I'm sure I'll get caught up in things that don't really matter- but today my desire is stronger then ever to see the light and to embrace it. To be present and to be thankful for this ever so chaotic and beautiful ride of life.
